Breaking, unsurprising news: Longtime bestselling Christian author Philip Yancey (76) has confessed to an 8-year affair with a married woman and is going to “withdraw from ministry.” Such a sacrifice for a 76-year-old man whose writing career began 55 years ago and whose books have sold more than 15 million copies (and continue to sell).
"It’s like the only unforgivable sin to them is not forgiving someone who committed any/all of the other sins against you." Wow. I'm blown away by this. And it only applies to men. When Amy Grant left Gary, she was all but crucified for her transgression.
I wish she would divorce him and take half that fortune he amassed with his book sales. He can afford a nurse instead of his traumatized wife taking care of him. Also, he did not just reveal this affair out of some conviction, most likely he got found out and is doing damage control ahead of time. 8 years and how much longer would he have carried it on if he could have?
Right?? Let's just hope he's not like my ex who made me empty the shit in his bedpan and wipe his ass after his heart attack because having a nurse do it was "humiliating."
There is a rabbi named Danya Ruttenberg, who writes about atonement and forgiveness, and I love her take: first you acknowledge the harm you caused, then you take step to grow as a person so you no longer cause such harm, then you work to repair the harm you caused, THEN you can ask for forgiveness from the ones you harmed(who are under no obligation to grant you that forgiveness). God doesn’t require perfection, he does require us to realize our mistakes before we’ve engaged in that mistake for nearly a decade
I want to know whether he - after 8 long years - decided to come clean because it was hurting his wife or did he only come clean when he was caught and it was about to start hurting him? Big difference. The fact he didn’t even mention her pain is despicable. Betrayal trauma is brutal.
She deserves that. But honestly, the first few years will just be healing, then she’s already in her 80s when the happiness is in full swing. It sucks.
Girls be like "NEEDED THIS" and it's actually just a deconstructed woman spitting the truth on her Substack. I stumbled upon this via Threads and your blazing articulation has caused my crops to flourish and wrinkles to disappear from my face. Thank you, Queen!!!
The amount of people coming to his support is flabbergasting. I recently read a post where someone was blaming his “fame” for the situation, saying that fame corrupts and basically implying it isn’t his fault. It was WILD. No one was holding him responsible or accountable for his disgusting actions. Christianity can be so toxic.
Why does he get to break his sacred vows, be forgiven etc.? Yet his wife who is obviously a better person and Christian than him, spend what few years she has left doing penance for his sins.
UGH! I'm so sorry you had to deal with everything you've gone through. And, I'm so glad you are who you are, and you can name the bullshit. My favorite piece of art from you hangs on my wall: Pic of Jesus, says "Fuck this shit." Thank. you.
"It’s like the only unforgivable sin to them is not forgiving someone who committed any/all of the other sins against you." Wow. I'm blown away by this. And it only applies to men. When Amy Grant left Gary, she was all but crucified for her transgression.
Yep. Complete double standard. Patriarchy.
I wish she would divorce him and take half that fortune he amassed with his book sales. He can afford a nurse instead of his traumatized wife taking care of him. Also, he did not just reveal this affair out of some conviction, most likely he got found out and is doing damage control ahead of time. 8 years and how much longer would he have carried it on if he could have?
Exactly. That or his illness made it harder to cheat. 🙄
HE CAN AFFORD A NURSE 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
Right?? Let's just hope he's not like my ex who made me empty the shit in his bedpan and wipe his ass after his heart attack because having a nurse do it was "humiliating."
Oh my god Marla 😣😣 I like men less and less every day
Me too
There is a rabbi named Danya Ruttenberg, who writes about atonement and forgiveness, and I love her take: first you acknowledge the harm you caused, then you take step to grow as a person so you no longer cause such harm, then you work to repair the harm you caused, THEN you can ask for forgiveness from the ones you harmed(who are under no obligation to grant you that forgiveness). God doesn’t require perfection, he does require us to realize our mistakes before we’ve engaged in that mistake for nearly a decade
Love this. And I love Rabbi Danya. Thanks for sharing. 🩵
I want to know whether he - after 8 long years - decided to come clean because it was hurting his wife or did he only come clean when he was caught and it was about to start hurting him? Big difference. The fact he didn’t even mention her pain is despicable. Betrayal trauma is brutal.
I just found out a few hours ago that his personal assistant (and only employee) died in an accident in October and he was bereft.
I remember hearing about that.
If what seems obvious is true, there was a power dynamic there which is super common with religious leaders.
“My anger at Philip is surpassed only by my sadness for her.”
That part.
❤️🩹
I wish she could be lucky enough at this point to get a few years doing what she wants without having to wait hand and foot on a cheating husband.
She deserves that. But honestly, the first few years will just be healing, then she’s already in her 80s when the happiness is in full swing. It sucks.
She can forgive him AND divorce him. More likely she’d have to divorce him, then eventually she might find the grace to forgive.
Patriarchal evangelical Christianity will make her stay. They like the forgiveness to hurt as much as possible.
Girls be like "NEEDED THIS" and it's actually just a deconstructed woman spitting the truth on her Substack. I stumbled upon this via Threads and your blazing articulation has caused my crops to flourish and wrinkles to disappear from my face. Thank you, Queen!!!
You’re so welcome. ❤️
Awomen. This is good shit, Marla. I loved the visual of wiping his crumbs up. I hope she find peace away from him.
Me too. Thank you, friend. 🩵 (love Awomen)
The amount of people coming to his support is flabbergasting. I recently read a post where someone was blaming his “fame” for the situation, saying that fame corrupts and basically implying it isn’t his fault. It was WILD. No one was holding him responsible or accountable for his disgusting actions. Christianity can be so toxic.
So toxic, so ridiculous.
Why does he get to break his sacred vows, be forgiven etc.? Yet his wife who is obviously a better person and Christian than him, spend what few years she has left doing penance for his sins.
Exactly. Wildly unfair.
Yeah, I don't know the answer, but it feels like he isn't really repentant here. I hope that she can heal.
Even if he feels sorry, it’s too little too late.
I read it and thought, “Another one bites the dust.” They go down like dominoes.
Yep.
“ Not feeling obligated to forgive people who aren’t actually sorry is one of my favorite parts of not being a Christian anymore.”
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💯
❤️
Betraying a woman and then securing her as your caregiver is its own kind of golden parachute.
UGH.
UGH! I'm so sorry you had to deal with everything you've gone through. And, I'm so glad you are who you are, and you can name the bullshit. My favorite piece of art from you hangs on my wall: Pic of Jesus, says "Fuck this shit." Thank. you.
Thank you, friend. 🩵