too much all at once

(why I do not love the first week of January)

Hi. Happy New Year. No poem this week. Also no recap of 2024 or list of goals for 2025. Just a little honest reflection and some brief thoughts on the coming year.

I know we’re all feeling stuff right now. Layers of stuff. Personal stuff, systemic stuff, our country is a dumpster fire stuff.

I turn 50 this year on Halloween, and I’m torn between making some really big goals and just laying low/staying alive.

Twenty-seven years ago on 01/03, I got married. Ten years ago on 01/03, my family moved to Cambodia. Four years ago on 01/04, I found out my husband had been cheating on me for four years. Nineteen years ago on 01/05, I gave birth for the third and final time to an adorable little (okay, big) daughter. This year on 01/07, I have to report for jury duty lol.

Last night, my fam and I quietly rang in the New Year, then spent the next two hours talking through some trauma. Whew.

I read somewhere recently something to the effect of “I am simultaneously out of fucks and also very much give a fuck.”

That’s pretty much how I feel.

If I had to share one resolution/intention for the year, it would be some version of this: MAKE ART and SHARE MY HEART.

So much love to y’all on this second day of another new year. xx