Uncle Grayson: a tribute

(1936-2024)

ode to Uncle Grayson

everything that made you

a black sheep in our family 
when I was growing up

you fighting for 

gay rights 
civil rights 
human rights

makes you my hero now

*

This is a poem from my book, unbelieve. And this is my great-uncle Grayson Atha (my mom's mom's brother). My heart is broken because Grayson died yesterday morning, just 3 days before the 65th anniversary of getting married to my great-aunt Wende.

Grayson loved people so so so well. And he only ever used the Bible to bring wholeness and freedom to people—never, ever, ever as a weapon.

I don’t know how many years have gone by since I last saw Uncle Grayson in real life, but in 2015, when we’d just moved to Cambodia, my cousin Holly (his daughter) reached out to me online and asked if I’d edit his memoir. I said absolutely. 

The very cool thing about this is that Grayson didn’t know if I’d be up for it, since our religious perspectives were so different, but Holly told him she’d been reading my recent posts, had seen some changes in me, and thought it could work. OH MY HEART.

I learned soooooo much as I was reading his story, and by the time I was done, he had become one of my biggest heroes.

I wrote this short post last night when I found out Grayson had died and the response from people who knew him—and those who didn’t, but knew how much he meant to me—was so overwhelming. And I’ve spent most of the morning happy/sad crying as I exchange texts with Holly and reposted one of my favorite stories that will never not make me laugh and looked through old emails from Holly when I was editing Grayson’s book (and she’d send me notes from Grayson).

And the third book in my poetry trilogy releases 3/26 and became available for preorder on the day Grayson died. I’m heartbroken that he won’t get to read it and so so grateful that he read my other two and sent me these pics. 

Photos of my family members with my book are very very few and far between (and I have a huge extended family), so these are extra special.

I love you so much, Uncle Grayson. I’m so grateful for you and your life and witness and the way your actions spoke so much louder than your sermons. I want to be JUST LIKE YOU when I grow up.

Love,
Marla

p.s. If you like to read more about how Grayson spent his whole life loving people, you should totally read his book.