dear enemies and nemeses,
dear enemies and nemeses,
the one fighting to take away rights
the one who chooses guns over people
the pastor who scorns deconstructors
the ex who cheated and
the in-laws who blamed me for it
the star of the poem on page 65
the relative who disowned me
my prayer for you is wholeness
*This is a poem from my new book, whole. And here’s some poem art I made earlier this week. (see the whole Cinderella poem art series here)
I had an epiphany recently. I’ve had “forgive my ex and his family” on my “Bucket List” for a while and hadn’t been making much progress, lol, when I had a lightbulb moment.
Instead of “forgiving” them, what if I wished/prayed for their wholeness? That seems pretty kind and gracious, right? Me wanting them to be whole?
But here’s the “catch” with that. In order for people who harmed me (and/or others) to truly find wholeness, they’d have to repent and make reparations, right?
So there you go.
How do y’all feel about the concept of forgiveness? (especially if you grew up evangelical and left)
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Forgiveness was too often used as a weapon. “Just forgive and forget”, the victim was told to do, and the perpetrator had no accountability or consequences. Eventually you realize that you can forgive, which heals you, but you can also walk away or set strong boundaries that change relationships. You don’t need to put yourself back in harm’s way as the church so often asked us to do because “church is family”. Such an unhealthy family (I wonder where so many Christian families get it from…).
Yes to all of this! I came to this same conclusion in my own life, because the evangelical idea of forgiveness is so weaponized. Cheers to healing!