I remember that JOY quote on a bulletin board at church back in my 1970’s childhood. It caused cognitive dissonance for me even then .... wasn’t putting yourself last the opposite of the golden rule to love your neighbor as yourself? Go figure!
Many many years later i heard another interpretation of the joy acronym....
Jesus
Over
You.
A definite improvement!
Yet, in my current season of deconstruction, that version no longer rings true for me as it once did.
I am learning to be OK with fewer answers, and more questions.
As soon as I saw the title that song jumped into my head. I recall discussing it with my therapist a few years ago and he was horrified enough to write the words down!
And of course Jesus/God first was always interpreted by those around us as Church first.
Ugh, that J.O.Y. acronym. I didn't know there was a song about it though. (I learned about this wildly unhealthy combination of letters from a poster in one of the classrooms at the Christian school I attended in middle school.)
I’ve never been able to wrap my mind/heart around the Biblical concept of joy. I always end up feeling like there was a club I wasn’t invited to join, or that there is some feeling I don’t have hanging on my tool rack (with a little tape outline of the tool that is supposed to go there... I probably loaned it to a neighbor and they didn’t bring it back)
Joy is one of those words (like grace) that has kind of been ruined for me. I was always taught that you should want joy, not happiness, because joy was deeper and more meaningful (and spiritual). Happiness was fleeting and for people who weren’t Christians and couldn’t have joy without Jesus. 🙄 So basically joy is happiness but without any of the fun or good feelings. 🤣
The story where Mary and Martha are serving Jesus and Martha gets criticized for “working” too hard always made me so mad - like the only story we could tell about women in the Bible was how they have to walk the perfect line between hard working/meek submission. 🤯
Oh that was such a hard one for me, too! Always felt bad for always being busy (now I know it was my ADHD) but at the same time they wanted the women to serve all the time. So many mixed messages!
Soooooo many. It’s almost like they made “being a good Christian” ultimately unattainable so we’d have to stick around forever, busily doing their bidding. 🙄
I actually didn’t sing that one! Sounds like something I’d hear from Glenn on Superstore, lol. However, I was taught JOY - Jesus, Others, Yourself - as it was written on the whiteboard or chalkboard a lot in Sunday School. Smh. Never made sense to me, either, & when I would ask about loving others as yourself I’d quickly get shut down (as with anything else I’d question).
Knew what this was as soon as I saw the title. My mom used to say that to me all the time. I hate it so much. One of the most toxic things from my upbringing, imo.
I don’t remember this song. “Just Orgasm Yourself” springs to mind as a much better substitute, so there you go. 😂
That’s perfect. 😎🤣
I remember that JOY quote on a bulletin board at church back in my 1970’s childhood. It caused cognitive dissonance for me even then .... wasn’t putting yourself last the opposite of the golden rule to love your neighbor as yourself? Go figure!
Many many years later i heard another interpretation of the joy acronym....
Jesus
Over
You.
A definite improvement!
Yet, in my current season of deconstruction, that version no longer rings true for me as it once did.
I am learning to be OK with fewer answers, and more questions.
I love that you had cognitive dissonance way back then. I wish I could remember if I did or not. And YES to fewer answers, more questions.
As soon as I saw the title that song jumped into my head. I recall discussing it with my therapist a few years ago and he was horrified enough to write the words down!
And of course Jesus/God first was always interpreted by those around us as Church first.
YES to Jesus/God just being Church first. Ugh.
LOVE THIS!!! Thank you, as always, for your raw portrayal of abuse suffered at the hands of the church. So much harm! So many of us are recovering.
You're so welcome. It feels weird to say it's "my pleasure," but it actually is.
Ugh, that J.O.Y. acronym. I didn't know there was a song about it though. (I learned about this wildly unhealthy combination of letters from a poster in one of the classrooms at the Christian school I attended in middle school.)
BLECH.
I’ve never been able to wrap my mind/heart around the Biblical concept of joy. I always end up feeling like there was a club I wasn’t invited to join, or that there is some feeling I don’t have hanging on my tool rack (with a little tape outline of the tool that is supposed to go there... I probably loaned it to a neighbor and they didn’t bring it back)
Joy is one of those words (like grace) that has kind of been ruined for me. I was always taught that you should want joy, not happiness, because joy was deeper and more meaningful (and spiritual). Happiness was fleeting and for people who weren’t Christians and couldn’t have joy without Jesus. 🙄 So basically joy is happiness but without any of the fun or good feelings. 🤣
Yup. We are supposed to find joy even in hardship bc we appreciate the greater dependence upon God. That is one confusing feeling (for me anyway).
It's so ridiculous.
This poem is WONDERFUL! I’ve never heard this song, but you’ve put into words what I’ve felt ever since I got married and had kids.
Thank you! 💗
Wow, learned many songs but not that one. I am still unlearning the toxic human-giver bs I learned as a kid. This poem says it perfectly, Marla. 🩷
Thank you. 💗
The story where Mary and Martha are serving Jesus and Martha gets criticized for “working” too hard always made me so mad - like the only story we could tell about women in the Bible was how they have to walk the perfect line between hard working/meek submission. 🤯
Oh that was such a hard one for me, too! Always felt bad for always being busy (now I know it was my ADHD) but at the same time they wanted the women to serve all the time. So many mixed messages!
Soooooo many. It’s almost like they made “being a good Christian” ultimately unattainable so we’d have to stick around forever, busily doing their bidding. 🙄
Ugh. We couldn’t win.
I actually didn’t sing that one! Sounds like something I’d hear from Glenn on Superstore, lol. However, I was taught JOY - Jesus, Others, Yourself - as it was written on the whiteboard or chalkboard a lot in Sunday School. Smh. Never made sense to me, either, & when I would ask about loving others as yourself I’d quickly get shut down (as with anything else I’d question).
I love that you questioned it!!
Knew what this was as soon as I saw the title. My mom used to say that to me all the time. I hate it so much. One of the most toxic things from my upbringing, imo.
Hugs.
Ugh. I’m so sorry.